David Letterman’s Lesson

Hollywood celebrities keep making the same mistakes.

David Letterman married long-time partner Regina Lasko in March. The couple, who have been together since 1986, have a son, Harry, 6.

But he has been creepy.

The Associated Press reports that a CBS producer told the “Late Show” host  in a letter that his “world was about to collapse around him” unless he received $2 million, the Manhattan district attorney said Friday.

Letterman acknowledged on his show Thursday night that he’d had sexual relations with members of his staff and that he revealed those liaisons during grand jury testimony for a case involving an attempted extortion, according to Reuters.

The exortionist was producer, Robert Joe Halderman of Connecticut, 20-year-plus veteran of CBS News. He has been charged with first-degree attempted grand larceny.

“I have a little story that I’d like to tell you,” Letterman said as he launched into his tale.

“This morning, I did something I’ve never done in my life,” Letterman told his audience. “I had to go downtown to testify before the grand jury” and “tell them all of the creepy things that I’ve done.”

Letterman quoted a note from Halderman as saying:  “I know that you do some terrible, terrible things and I can prove that you do these terrible things.”

“Sure enough, contained in the package was stuff to prove that I do terrible things,” Letterman added.

“My response to that is: yes I have. I have had sex with women who work on this show,” he said. “Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would, especially for the women.”

“I feel like I need to protect these people — I need to certainly protect my family,” Letterman said. “I need to protect myself … hope to protect my job.”

That’s  nice, Dave.

“It’s been a very bizarre experience,” Letterman said in closing. “I don’t plan to say much more about this.”

Maybe he shouldn’t.